Apr 21, 2010

How NOT To Thank A Doctor!

Last post I said there's really no wrong way to thank a doctor. While that is usually the case there is one very wrong way to thank a doctor...

Doctor D's number one rule for thanking doctors:
Don't be creepy!

The only way that you can mess up a thank you is to make it creepy. And by creepy I mean very, very inappropriate. Most patients don't need to worry about coming across this way because they have no twisted ulterior motives. I don't think anyone could be this creepy by accident:
  • Showing up at Doctor D's doorstep at 1:00 am to thank him.
Stalkerish and not cool.

  • Saying, "Okay Doctor D, now that you've saved my life I am bound to be your personal slave for life!"
It might have been okay if the patient was joking, but when said seriously it's just a little too much gratitude for Doctor D to handle!

  • Telling Doctor D how awesome he is right before you ask for a prescription for high-dose narcotics.
Maybe the gratitude was heart-felt, but when combined with a request for controlled substances Doctor D can't help but suspect he's being manipulated.

  • Making a very obvious attempt to feel up Doctor D while thanking him.
Yeah that got her discharged from the practice, and it almost got her an ass-whoopin' from Lady D!

Now most of the patients that read this blog don't have that psycho-killer vibe and therefore expressing gratitude like this never occurred to you. But if you do happen to be a bit on the creepy side a good rule of thumb to remember: if an action has ever gotten you a restraining order it probably isn't a good way to thank your doctor.
So "No Creepiness" is the only absolute don't of Doctor-thanking that D can think of. Does anybody know anymore no-no's for thanking doctors? Anyone have great stories about creepy gratitude?

Doctor D will be back soon with some tips on the right way to thank an MD in your life!


cardiogirl said...

It seems like it would be weird to provide food (veggie tray, cookies, chocolate, etc.) or to invite your doctor out to lunch.

Perhaps it's a 2.8 on the creepy scale compared to what you've already mentioned. It still seems like it would throw out some red flags.

Pissed Off Patient said...

Okay, I'm good. No stalking. Just excessive gifting of chocolate.

Hey, I have a question, how should patients handle switching to another doc within the same practice? Is that a problem? Is there a protocol patients should follow? Does it poison the well so to speak to do that?


Maha said...

Or sending a dozen red roses to one doctor only with a very suggestive note attached. Just sayin'...

Anonymous said...

Shoot. I guess I'll have to cancel the mariachi band.

coulrophobic agnostic said...

Is that Allison Harvard in the picture? Looks like her, anyway.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Or this


*~K~* said...

I like your post. My 65-year-old OB/GYN asked me out for coffee during the pap smear while looking up at me. Seriously disgusting! I was 21, didn't know I could even ask for a nurse to be in the room! Needless to say, he is no longer my GYN, BUT still the chairman of the local med school's OB department with known hx of loving up med students. eewww! the door swings both ways, Dr. D. :)

Anonymous said...

How do doctors thank their patients? Is it like the airlines - We know you have many choices for your colonoscopy needs, thank you for choosing Dr. D.'s?

Old MD Girl said...

"If you do happen to be a bit on the creepy side..."

LOL!!! I wonder if people ever really realize that they are creepy. I'd hope if they did, they would stop!

Queen of Optimism said...

I'm laughing hysterically trying to imagine any doctor I have or have had who I'd want to feel up!

My dentist is a sweetheart and a pretty good-looking guy and he has those beautiful ice blue eyes....


Doctor D said...

Queen, you bad girl! Leave that dentist alone!

Anonymous said...

I know my dr is going to need to use my dept at work shortly so I have offered to help him make an application to us as it's quite a complicated process am I being creepy - now I am really paranoid?

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