Do women find you more attractive because you have an MD?
(Hard to tell, since all women swoon in the presence of Doctor D's masculine charisma even when he isn't wearing a white coat.)
Actually though, if you go into medicine because you are looking for a sexy and glamorous life you'll likely be disappointed...
Everybody reads House Of God or watches TV medical dramas and assumes that medical folks do nothing but save lives, kick ass, and fornicate like rockstars.
Millions of bright young people sign up for medical school every year certain the opposite sex will find them irresistible with MD behind their names.
"Irresistible? You know I am! ...and I totally just banged these hot nurses."What they find instead is exhausting, banal work that destroys personal time, and patients too sick and coworkers too beleaguered to even consider romance.
But to answer the question:
"Yes, there are women who might find a man with an MD more attractive, but it is not as cool as you might imagine."(Sorry Dr. D can only answer from the male perspective. Perhaps a woman can tell the story of the female MD's love life in the comments?)
The Social Life
If you go around in your private life saying "Hey, nice to meet you. I'm a doctor!" the ladies will think you are trying too hard. And trying too hard is not cool.And once people realize you are a doctor they still really won't care. Generations ago being a doctor may have meant something. Perhaps back in the day when a physician entered the room everyone was struck with reverent awe, but these days nobody really cares. Being a doctor means you might be intelligent, but you're also overworked and up to the eyeballs in student loan debt. Not so sexy!
Seducing the Silly Ones
The only place where being a doctor means much is in hospitals and clinics. In the medical environment the MD means something, and there's nothing women find more attractive than a guy who is in charge. But think about it: are intelligent, interesting women in the hospital going to be lead astray by silly teenie-bopper fantasies in which the a doctor replaces the handsome prince? Nope, only the ditsy or creepy chicks!I don't know about you, but Doctor D isn't into silly women.
So it is a rare occurrence when a woman that you would actually be interested in is attracted to you because you are a doc. But it does happen...
The Femme Fatale:There was once a beautiful and intelligent patient who had visited Doctor D several times. Then one day she came to D's office with a hurt knee. Doctor D was dutifully examining the knee when he couldn't help but notice that not only was this attractive patient wearing a short skirt, but she also was lacking underwear!
Now in other situations obvious signals that a beautiful person has the hots for me is at least flattering, but not at work.
Doctor D stood up, said "Excuse me," and walked out. He brought a nurse in to chaperone, and for the rest of the exam kept his eyes nowhere but the knee. The patient never returned.
Sorry to disappoint you, beautiful ladies, but at work Doctor D keeps it strictly professional!
Keeping It Professional
Apparently in years past there was a more lax attitude toward frisky behavior in the hospital. Older nurses tell stories about the 70's in which the entire hospital seems to have been one big orgy with doctors, nurses, and patients going at it like bunny rabbits. (It's hard to tell if these reports are true or just the sentimental musings of soon-to-be-senile baby boomers.)
"McDreamy, I'm just too busy with romantic entanglements to see patients right now."Despite what you may presume from watching Grey's Anatomy such funny business is no longer tolerated in hospitals. With political correctness, sexual harassment, and lawyers circling like sharks there isn't any room for behavior that isn't totally professional.
The doctors and nurses of today may be more laid back than those of the generation before us, but when it comes to mixing business and pleasure we are downright puritanical.
So, attention to all lusty young premeds:Becoming a doctor will not get you laid! And if it does get you laid, you might ruin your career and lose your medical license in the process.
If you want to live like a rockstar, you should probably join a band.
But don't lose hope. You can still have an exciting love life. It's just that the MD won't help.
D met the stunningly beautiful future Lady D when he was in medical school. First thing she said when she found out what he did, "Ugh, I hate doctors!"
D responded, "Really? Me too! Too bad I'm about to be one of them."
I won her despite the MD. How you like them apples!
Feel free to tell your stories and opinions in the comments.
Doctor D can't wait to hear the heart-wrenching drama of your experiences in the odd world of medical romance!
20 comments:
Haha, fantastic article, as always. (Hope your transition period you wrote about the other day is going along smoothly!)
This has set my mind at ease a bit, as I'm still a single man without any current prospects for marriage...I've been worried that it'll be harder to find a nice, genuine woman once I'm in med school and become a doctor, as I might sometimes have a hard time determining who is interested just because of the MD and the money it may bring.
I have noticed that if I'm wearing a t-shirt associated with the pre-med organisation I'm in, I get a bit more female attention. Not much, but enough of which to take notice. ...and they're usually undesirable in some manner, or 20+ years my senior.
Glad Lady D was able to see past her hatred ;)
I'm into witty repartee, reasonably-good looks, and above-average IQs (I want someone who can speak in full, meaningful sentences about topics beyond 'Pabst Blue Ribbon vs. Miller Lite', etc), so doctors are definitely in the running. However, if you're a total greasy toolbag who is looking for vaginas to insert things into, you're just a total greasy toolbag. You're like more icky if you're a smarmy doctor vs. like a smarmy car mechanic.
While there is still room for trophy wives and bimbos in some peoples' lives, I think most doctors are into smart chicks.
Hahahaha--the opening statement by Tobie on our first date was that he hated doctors as well!!
He still cringes when I remind him of that.
Being a doctor makes you a sexier man.
Saying you're in medical school/a dcotor is an instant babe-deflector when you are a woman.
Sigh. As usual, the boys get all the breaks.
And no, not too crass for a post.
P.S Congrats to Mrs D on law school and your big move!!!!
Oh, give us poor patients a break! Sometimes when you doctors come in all smart and sweet and fix our problems, we are dazzled in spite of ourselves and get a tiny crush. So what? It's only a problem if both parties take it seriously and lose track of how much is at stake on both sides. Otherwise, a crush on a doctor is just a mild embarrassment and a simple, passing pleasure. Transference, counter-transference, counter-counter-transference, and on it goes. Few among us are free of such things. When you sense that a patient "likes" you, please ignore it and carry on with checking the lab work or whatever (and we promise to ignore it those times when you're the one who is blushing).
I've not had any experience with this personally (I'm married to a very nice restaurant manager, thankyouverymuch), but one of my friends did.
She'd moved back to our hometown after finishing grad school in her field (education), and went in to our local Big Clinic to see a doctor and establish care. After her appointment with the doctor, when she was checking out, the doctor's nurse came up to her.
The nurse passed on the message from the doctor that he would please like for my friend to make any follow-up appointments with his colleague rather than him. And as for him, would she like to have dinner with him Friday?
They've been married 10 years now... :)
Eh, not that relevant, but I thought it was a cute story, LOL.
Re: the story of the patient with a deficit of undergarments
Some women in warm climates DO choose to not wear undergarments without meaning to offer themselves in the process, but I'll trust Doctor D's judgment that in this instance the woman was indeed tearing a page from an overused soft-porn script and making an aggressive pass at him. I suppose that risky, playing-with-dynamite s*x has its short-lived charms for some people, but I can't help but notice that this patient managed to propose a scenario that put all the risk on Doctor D's side. It was only his reputation, license, career, and marriage that were on the line. I think that if I were a doctor in such a situation, the potential temptation would be more than overcome by my anger that someone would take my life so lightly. But maybe she just didn't get it. In any case, yes, beware the attention that having an MD may earn you.
While I've never had a full-blown teeny-bopper crush on any of my doctors, I have certainly taken note of the attractive ones.
That said, many years ago I had a large ganglion cyst removed from my right wrist, as it had started impairing function in my hand. (Sexy, right?) I was awake for the procedure; the anesthesiologist used a double tourniquet and some sort of drug that made me very relaxed and dreamy. Couldn't feel a thing while the surgeon removed the cyst, but I flirted unashamedly with the anesthesiologist, a handsome young fellow only a few years my senior, the whole time. I wanted him to have dinner with me. He just smiled.
In real life, I was pretty shy and would never have dreamed of flirting like that with a guy -- and in particular, not in a professional setting! I guess it was the drug he gave me that released my inhibitions, but I remember it so clearly. And afterward, when I was home and the anesthesia worn off, I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. Thank goodness I never had reason to see that nice doc again!
-Wren
Early in practice, I cared for a 91 year old gent and his 80-something year old wife. I got on well with both at their individual appts. Nice old geezer gives me a painting he completed of Pikes Peak, not a bit pleasing in a primitive Grandma Moses sort of way, actually quite hideous. I was politely praiseful. Next visit, he proposes I leave my spouse and he ditch his, and we go away together. Absolutely serious.
One other time, old gent patient asks me to lunch in gratitude for going outside the call of duty to help in difficult health situation. I went, he all duded up in tie and coat, clearly I realized with intentions other than friendship and gratitude.
So lady doctors, at least this one, are apparently geezer magnets.
I told my ex-husband when we met "I don't date med students". And we see how well that turned out ;p
There was a fair share of coworker dating and other shennanigans at the two hospitals where I worked, it wasn't super long ago but maybe long ago enough.
My primary care Physican is soooo kind a n d good looking....makes me wish i had a reason to see him....sad, i know. :-(
No, i don't make up reasons to go, thankfully for him.
Obviously, this has n o t h i n g to do with romance....just a silly crush....
I dated an MD once, but only because he persistently persued me- and my girlfriend talked me into giving him "a chance". After a couple months I punted him. Couldn't do it. He was upset, but I just didn't find him or his MD attractive to me.
My Gastro doc is so good looking that I find it hard to look into his eyes. But I do. My worry is when I am knocked out for a test and laying there on the table that I might pat him on the butt or call him Cutie. Has that ever happened to you Dr. D?
mo
My two doctor crushes were Dr Carter and Dr Kovac from ER (the show, not my workplace). Yes, I know they're fictional characters but since practically everyone in my family is a doctor or nurse, I've grown immune to doctor swooning. Unless they're Drs Carter or Kovac from ER :P
Well, I finished residency in 2003 at a mid sized teaching hospital and while it wasn't Seattle Grace there was plenty of shenanigans going on. We had one resident caught "in flagrante" by his wife in his call room.
Oh yes, call rooms. Weren't they invented for on call docs to get to know nursing and support staff better during the old interminable hours we used to have to work. ;-) I know the vast majority of the ones in our hospital weren't just used for sleeping.
I'm on a 24 hour call shift right now, and I can assure you that at least ONE person is getting up to some shenanigans in the hospital tonight as I write this... And keeping me awake with the sound of their squeeky bedsprings from a couple rooms away. For those hopeful and libidinous premeds, the dream of hospital fornication lives on! However, I'd be willing to bet the lucky couple consists of other hospital staff who work shifts, and not docs on call! I'm too tired and too married for that sort of thing!
Great article, but I believe it answers the question, "Do American women find you more attractive because you have an MD?". I am assuming that all of these stories happened in the United States. Allow me to write about the situation in Mexico, where it is a much different story.
Of course, there are alot of problems here, especially with poverty and I think that has alot to do with the differences with the States. Here the financial part is a really big deal, at least for the women.
I think that the most important aspect for the doctor is all of the legal stuff. Take that away and you can really answer the question. There are laws, but they aren't enforced very well or at all. Sexual Harrassment? I see signs, but thats all. Being sued for anything? Not here. So when you take away these legal aspects, male doctors here ARE very attractive to women and there are alot of casual relationships.
However, I have noticed a big difference between older and younger male doctors in Mexico. The younger doctors are very successful with women who aren't related to the medical field. They tend to stay away from coworkers and, as far as I know, patients. (At least there are some lines not to be crossed.)
I am not writing this to judge these younger doctors, but I will pass judgement on the older, Mexican doctors.
These older MDS have no problem with sleeping with women 30 sometimes 40 years younger than them. It seems that the older they are the more corrupt they are. This situation is also very common with MDS who have stopped seeing patients and have moved onto research. Many an MD leading a student with their Master's or Ph. D. has slept with them. I think that the power of passing or failing them has alot to do with it. And once in a work setting, these women do get promotions and raises.
In Mexico, having an MD does make you more attractive.
Well, fitting with the stereotype most of my MDs have been 20 years or more older than me so there was never an attraction on my part. BUT the first time I realized I was attracted to my doctor was after I was repulsed by his cockiness the first visit.
The second and third visit I realized he's insanely intellectual and this is how he relates to the world and it became more endearing. Why? I have no idea. But the raw intellectual horsepower is attractive for sure. It didn't help that I first saw him when I was in physical therapy in the hallway and was attracted without knowing he was my doctor (yet.)
When he stopped talking to me about his qualifications after I made a smart-ass comment about it, (I'm not exactly a cooperative or combative patient, somewhere in between,) the banter started and now I have a full-fledged crush.
ah, I've got it bad. Yes, there are some chicks that dig doctors, but not because of the MD... more because of the same reasons you'd dig anyone. Attractive, intelligent, has their life in order, and not afraid of strong women. :)
The only time I wasn't busy enough to see that women not in the field of medicine were attracted to me was when I took a couple of months break after the med school before residency, and it proved to be a disaster, because the physical attraction part is finished off very soon and soon enough it dawned on the girl that I was broke(students are considered broke!), that I wasn't the "greys anatomy or house md type guy" so she ruthlessly left me! Medical science has no drug for heartbreak! Except for some sedatives or alcohol, I believe!! Since then I too have realized and moved on to brains rather than beauty! In all it didn't work out for me.
I am in med school and whenever I tell a girl I am studying medicine their tone literally changes. They start taking more interest and they try to get closer to me. So for me it's been going pretty great. White coat is a babe magnet. But I also workout so maybe that also accounts for something in all of this.
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