Nov 10, 2009

Pregnancy Quiz

So Doctor D normally isn't one to tell stories about his patients' wackiness, but some things are just so odd they demand a teaching moment in the form of a Grumpy-style multiple choice quiz:

You are 39 weeks pregnant and you start feeling the "really bad pain" that keeps coming every 5 minutes. You should:

A. Call your OB

B. Get to the big hospital where your OB delivers babies

C. Wait about 14 hours till you just can't stand it anymore, then drive yourself in the other direction to the tiny hospital ER with no delivery rooms, no neonatal resuscitation equipment, no surgical backup, and ask Doctor D if he can do anything to make the pain stop.

If you answered C it was an honor to be a part of the miracle of your child's birth this morning, and yes, that is what labor feels like so please choose A or B next time.

Thank God women have been having babies without doctors since time began, because all Doctor D had to resuscitate this slippery kiddo was an oxygen mask and his own two hands!
Any readers have fun stories about babies joining our big bright world?


Helen said...

My grandfather was a small-town GP and often found himself delivering babies in farm houses in the middle of winter. He delivered one on his own doorstep once, when a panicked husband made a last-minute midnight drive to his house.

I went to school with many kids he'd delivered, whose parents he'd also delivered.

Great post!

The Lonely Midwife said...

The answer is "C" of course! It is secondary to "placenta brain" and "panicked dad". Good for you--keeps those obstetric skills fresh:))

WarmSocks said...

14 hours? Ouch! I'm a fan of quick babies.

The Good Cook said...

I can't get past the 14 hours of labor. I know that's normal - but for me, each time got shorter until my last - 30 minutes. poof. My OBGYN nervously asked me if I was planning on having any more.... LOL....

Old MD Girl said...

Holy pain threshold!

Dragonfly said...


Anonymous said...

In the USA - Sometimes C is the best answer coming from an OB RN that has worked in the american system... :)
You did good! :)

sara r. said...

I can kind of relate, but I had a really fast labor. I didn't know what labor felt like, and assumed that it would take longer than 3 hours to go from first contraction to pushing. Fortunately we only lived 5 minutes away from our chosen hospital, and the doctor probably did about the same thing that you did- sat back and watched as the baby was born, 15 minutes after arriving at the hospital. He even told me to catch her.

Love this quiz, though! I'm a doula now, and I'm totally afraid that the same thing will happen to one of my clients and I'll miss the birth!

I'm enjoying reading your blog, and that is a lot for me to say, since I tend towards the hippy-type that doesn't like doctors much. :)

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